That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
