if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
