hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
