I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it glows. i had to have it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
