All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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