If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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