Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize