Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
