So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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