Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
