why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dignity is for republicans.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
