Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
