I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
