I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize