reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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