Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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