I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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