Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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