you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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