mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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