I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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