i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just pynch a tree in the face
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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