I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
