I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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