Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
