This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
