Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
