Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
