i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
