just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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