I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
