Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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