Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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