Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
