so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
