Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
