Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
did you just send me my own nude
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
