That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize