the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it because I queefed?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
