naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
organizing the empties. That sober.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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