Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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