Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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