I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
