If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
