I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
