So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
operation have a gay friend backfired
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
