I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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