How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
