I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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