I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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