yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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