tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
