You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
