i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
