Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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