some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
