so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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