Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
