if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
