If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
