Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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