We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
