Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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