I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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