hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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