I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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