I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
