how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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