do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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