What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
