he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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