PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
